goodbye 2021, mental health, mom life, new teacher, teacher, teacher blogs, teacher struggles, working mom
I am happy that I am half way through the year. I really hope the second half of the year goes well. The first half has been a doosie. Changing from grade levels has been chaotic and exhausting. I am exhausted and over half way through my winter break. I do not feel mentally ready to go back to work yet and I feel like I need to be.
I wish I were more excited to go back to school in 6 days but I’m not. I am trying to get myself focused and ready to take on the new year but I’m not. Teaching is hard. I knew it would be but wow, it is really hard. I do not feel like I am ready to take on this career but I’m already here. I’m hoping that with time and expierence I will get better at management and it will become easier. This year has not been easy. I’m sure a big part is lack of expierence but we are 4 almost 5 months in and I still dont feel 100% comfortable in the classroom. I wish I were but it’s hard to not feel like I’m good enough all the time. It’s a hard hit to the ego and I don’t like the negative thinking it brings when I am constantly feeling teacher guilt like I do not do enough. It is mentally exhausting. I’m trying to make a better plan to get through and start feeling more in control and prepared.
I think time management needs to be more of a priority. When I get overwhelmed I struggle to stick to a plan and go into survival mode. No body is at their best when they are in survival mode. So I am going to sit down tomorrow and make a list of goals that are realistic for myself. I am going to keep to my strict schedule and make sure we reevaluate the rules and routines are tight so that the students come back acting like it’s the first day of school again. I think this will help me feel more in control. I am going to start setting up a plan and see if I can keep to this. I am going to treat it like I did a new semester of college with planning out all my classroom time including which things like making copies on which days I am going to do those things. Maybe this will help us all get back into the flow of things easier.
I’m just hoping I can get into the groove of things quickly. I really wish I was already as confident and comfortable as the veteran teachers. I am sure I will get their eventually I just need to pay my time to get there. For now I am going to focus on setting realistic goals. I am also going to take time for my mental health. I am going to try to write more because it really does help me stay motivated and focused on the positives and I really need that. I have considered more than once if I have chosen the correct career or not. I am really considering becoming a speech pathologist or admin or something so that I have more options for this career field incase in the classroom never feels comfortable. I am going to get my masters I just do not know in what yet.
Well I am exhausted and have babbled long enough, I do feel more positive having a plan of realistic weekly schedule and goals already makes me feel better. I will take my notebook with me to the hair dressers tomorrow so that while I wait my turn I can be productive.