How is it a 5 minute conversation can have such a negative impact on a day. I’m trying to get back to the happy positive day that I had and it’s hard. I was having such a good day, then I had a 5 minute conversation with my sister B and the rest of the day has been a struggle. I really upset her and she is no longer answering my phone. It really was a stupid conversation. I tried to apologize, I had shared a memory from about 5 years ago. I should have kept my mouth shut, really I know I messed up.
I brought up this memory about her once making me change my outfit over my nipples poking through my shirt. She had brought up at the time how inappropriate it was to go without a bra near my 10 year old nephew and her hubby. I was wearing a thin nursing bra at the time, was very top heavy I’m talking a DDD kinda heavy because I was still nursing my son who was just starting to crawl. So afterwards I stopped wearing those types of bras around her family.
Fast forward to why I brought it up at all… I bought a thin bra today, she told me how much she loves thin bras and I was surprised because of that conversation years ago so I told her that I was surprised since she had made me change attire over a bra like that. She went off over how she hasn’t been insecure since she was a teen and how dare I make her sound like such a nasty bitch. I told her she was never nasty when she asked me to change, but she had made it clear to me at the time that I needed to change, I ended up getting bodied bras from my sister in law since she witnessed the whole argument at the time.
B was supposed to drive up to see me this weekend and stay 2 weeks. She got off the phone with me and then texted that she will no longer be coming to visit. I feel terrible. I tried calling her. I apologized when we were still on the phone and said maybe I had mistaken the conversation since I had just had a child and was hormonal that it stuck out in my memory more than it should have. She said no it was never her she never did that and then got off the phone.
I apologized again through a text and told her I was sorry and didn’t mean to cause her any upset that if I could redo the conversation I would. no response, an hour later I text her again and told her I understand if she doesn’t want to see me because I upset her and that I totally understand if she no longer stays with me, I still hope she can come visit the rest of the family and enjoy her vacation. Still no response.
My kids are looking forward to her visit, several other nephews n nieces. My other 2 sisters n brother were all loooking forward to it. Now she is canceling all because of the 5 minute conversation I wish I could undo.
Maybe I need to learn to not share what I’m surprised about. I really need to learn to not bring up unhappy stories of the past and let them lie in the past. She said if I held onto it all this time then clearly it’s still bothering me. She’s kinda right, it’s not that it’s still bothering me but I have made sure to buy specific bras, and swimsuits because of our conversation years ago. I should probably look into getting a therapist.
So I know I talk to much. I share to much (obviously you know this if you’ve read my blog). I’m really going to work on only sharing positive memories, there is no reason to make anyone remember things that are unpleasant. My new goal is to not share that past bad crap. I have a blog, a bestie, a hubby, and I can get a therapist if I absolutely need to share out that crap from my past.
Ashley’s Motherhood Journey said:
Maybe it isn’t you. Maybe you sharing how this memory made a mark on you is exactly what you needed to do. Sometimes people need to be made aware of the things they say and do. And all you did was bring up how something made you feel. We are humans meant to feel. Please don’t beat yourself up about that. If she chooses not to remember this memory. And chooses to not respond to you. Maybe this is something that is deep inside her that you make her face every time she sees you. I challenge you to forgive yourself and stand tall in the fact that you have feelings too. And deserve to be heard. Positive or negative 💜
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